Parenting is a sacred and demanding journey, whether you are a mother or a father. It can be one of the toughest, yet also one of the sweetest transitions in life. It is a transition that requires one to take full responsibility for the survival and growth of a dependent being. This heavy responsibility is a lot of pressure in some cases and can make significant life changes for the parents.
Let’s talk about mothers. Starting from pregnancy and throughout the entire journey, being a mother is very challenging— physically, emotionally and mentally. What helps lessen the pressure and the weight of the changes is having a partner who supports you throughout the process. Having someone special who is there in sickness and in health makes everything a lot easier. But what about single mothers? Don’t they need a support system as well? How do they cope with stress? How do they manage their lives? How do they act as two people in one body?
Not having a shoulder to lean on in time of need is very hard.
Single moms must deal with physical difficulties and emotional stress all alone. Trying to overcome all these burdens alone makes parenting even more challenging. This quote perfectly sums up the life of a single mother: “Being a single mother is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears, but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”
Even if they break into a thousand pieces, they have ONE good reason to begin again— those little smiles. But that does not mean they have to deal with everything alone. Single mothers should have a healthy support system to pick those broken pieces up and never be afraid to start all over again.
Although they may not have a partner to raise their children with, mothers can still thrive and be mentally strong with an uplifting support system around them. The support system will allow mothers to have an extra set of hands to pick up the pieces. It will also help mothers build emotional strength— which will in turn increase overall physical health. The first rule of being a single mom is making sure you are the best version of yourself. It is okay to ask for help as a single mom. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; on the contrary, it is a sign of pure humanness. We are all vulnerable in various ways; only some of us can dare to show this vulnerability because society has taught us not to talk about our flaws since we were children. Vulnerability is strength. Being honest and opening your heart fully to other people makes you brave, but it does require a lot of awareness.
It is always good to receive sympathy, compassion and understanding for situations beyond our control. Do not let your pride get in the way. If the mother is happy, she can make her children happy; if the children are happy, the mother is happy. It is a cycle. Your kids do not want a perfect mom— they want a happy mom.
There are many things that single moms go through that two-parent families will never fully understand or experience. Unfortunately, that is why people can be so cruel sometimes. Society can make single mothers feel like they are less of a person. They even use the term dysfunctional family to describe single-parent families. The judgement that single mothers face may cause them to isolate themselves from people – lessening their ability to seek help and support.
If you are a single mother, please utilize your support system and ask for help. Your support system could be your family, friends or colleagues. Find support from other single moms as well. Or maybe, you are not a single mom but you know someone, but you may think these moms struggle only financially, and you can’t do much, however, don’t forget that there are some things money can’t buy, like healthy connections. No matter how tough they look on the outside, many of them are just as fragile on the inside. Be compassionate. Be kind. Show care. Be a good listener. Be someone she can trust.